2/26/22 - A Long-Winded Attempt to Sell You Some Pottery - And Plants

I’ve been told by some that I take too long to get to the point about the fact that I sell plants and pots in North Denver off Highway 36 and the Pecos exit from 1030-530 on weekends, Saturday and Sunday.

It’s said I don’t mention my multi-item discounts, or best in market pricing, nearly soon enough.

For the address, message << 909 >> << 744 >> << 7708 >>

- or -

@ahouseofpots

These days, some people don’t have the patience to flip through a few pictures, read a little text, and have a good time. Instead, they want all the low, low prices, up front, with no narrative.

Unfortunately for them, I am not that potsman, and I must fable my lore for bards across the land to reverberate.

Hark. It is him. He with the pots. The one they have foretold. For it is him who will set the people free of the burden of indentured servitude in exchange for fine pottery.

Instead of bludgeoning customers with astronomical asking prices, my prices are very low. Let’s start off with a few I do not offer:

I haven't got $1.99, not $7.99, not $16.99. Cheap, cheap, cheap price. $14, $11, $2.49. $3.00.

My prices are so small you can barely see them. This is some small prices. Me have prices, discount.

<< A word from the competition >>

Ian’s discount prices shatter to the ground. Buy premium prices. Hi, I'm a cleric and welcome to Cleric’s Premium Prices. I've got all the premium prices. I've got 19.99 for sale for $20. You come to me when you want fine European prices. They're premium! Come on in. Buy $35.50 for $40.

{ IAN rambles }

Oh lay an egg. Go to Ian'$ Discount Prices. Our $6.99s are down to $2.99.

<< Competition interjects >>

Ian buys his prices from China. Mine are real. American made.

{ IAN retorts }

Who wants to pay a premium for prices? Come on down to Ian'$ Discount Price$ and pay small prices.

<< Competition grabs IAN's discount >>

Look at this discounted price. There's no meat on it. You throw it back. Stay in the water. I'm not going to serve you to my family.

{ IAN, in disgust }

The man's a dirty fellow. He's got a stink down here.

<< Competition, with something to say >>

Discounts are for the birds. Ian's got crap prices. Kick it.

{ IAN forewarns }

Don't let the competition get near you. He'll chaffe you.

<< The Competition persists >>

Ian makes up randumb prices and sells them at a discount. That's bullsiht.

{ IAN contends }

The competition is a compulsive disaster maker. He disaster makes all over the store.

<< Competition in shock >>

My competitor is a liar. Cut this thread off.

{ IAN lewdly gestures }

Premium? I'd say extremely dumb.

<< Competition whispers >>

Cleric’s Premium Prices

{ IAN }

My prices.

<< Competition >>

Premium prices.

{ IAN }

(Incomprehensible)

<< Competition >>

Premium prices.

{ IAN }

Noo. No no. Come to Ian's

<< Competition >>

Premium prices.

{ IAN }

No my price.

<{ TOGETHER }>

Price. Price. Price. Price. Price. Price. Price.

<{ TOGETHER, Alternating }>

Deh, neh, neh, he, pruh, pruh, pri, pri ...

<< Explosion, followed by pottery jargon >>

Commerce City, hiking, red clay, Westminster, garden, philodendron, grow aloe, Superior, Aurora, porcelain, climbing, succulents, running, Erie, garage sale, Brighton, Castle Rock, green greenhouse, Louisville, Wheat Ridge, pot, pottery, fishing, trees, Parker, terracotta, Northglenn, succulent, vegetable box, stoneware, gardener, gardening, Arvada, planter, Lakewood, Greeley, holder, planters, Loveland, cement, plant stand, tree, monstera, jargon, pottery barn, pots, ceramic, estate sale, ceramics, Longmont plants, Broomfield, Centennial, Littleton, Golden, yard sale, plant, Boulder, cactus, Federal Heights, Denver, mcm, gardens, Fort Collins, cacti, Thornton

Terracotta planters: $1-35

Small glazed ceramics: $10-$30

Medium ceramic planter: $20-$55

Larger outdoor pottery: $50-$135

House plants: $10-$65 on average

Buy two or more items and get a discount. A premium discount.

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