1/1/22 - Buy Some Pottery From a Ma'fk Who's as Cold as Ice

It's a new year. It's a new day. And here you are, still buying pottery from a bunch of basic btiches.

Here's a New Year's resolution:

Exclusively buy your pots from a ma'fk'er who's as cold as ice instead.

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@ahouseofpots

I was driving my truck today during a snowstorm on Highway 36; it was cold as ice. I was willing to sacrifice, for my shop, when I didn't take advice and I began to spin on ice. Someday I'll pay the price, I know, though as I spun around twice, I didn't think, "I've seen this before, it happens all the time", blink, sweat, or regret not closing the door.

"I should probably get back on the road", I thought, "and add Foreigner lyrics when I retell this."

The only thing that can keep me from selling plants and pottery on the weekends in North Denver are road conditions that do me as cold as ice; or if a Foreigner concert happens to be in town.

It's all going down from 1030 to 6, Saturdays and Sundays, except 1/1, where I'm opening late at noon and leaving early at four.

I've got pots that are one-of-one, ones that cost $1, and the one that's the one you've been looking for, probably. Pots that cost over $100 are foreign to this land, though there's some extravagant planters that just came in from California that cost more.

Plants are great too, and we've got a few, priced from $10 to $45 by and large. Philodendron, spider plants, succulents, cacti, christmas cactus, house plants, pothos, you get the picture.

Pick two or more from all of the above and receive preferential treatment, like discounts, add-ons, or insider information about what my non-driving hand was doing while my underloaded front-wheel drive vehicle was taking me for a spin.

Are any of the items pictured absolutely free without giving me no money?

Absolutely not, baby. What did you expect? I'm as cold as ice.

On the other hand, I can afford to spare free terracotta for accompanying children, broken pots past the point of sale, soggy, snow covered cardboard, ceramic breaks and shards for your assorted crafts, and Foreigner references.

Foreigner + Pottery jargon:

You're digging for gold Greeley, Centennial you're throwing away a plant fortune in planter feelings, but someday, Arvada, you'll pay. Wheat Ridge you know that you are (Cold as ice). Aurora gardens are as cold as ice to me (Cold as ice). You're as cold as ice Longmont plants, a Loveland cactus is Cold as ice, I know (you're as cold as ice Federal Heights fishing). Yes, I know Lakewood gardener (you're as cold as ice), Broomfield cacti you're as cold as ice, Louisville hiking is as cold as ice, I know Fort Collins gardening (you're as cold as ice). Oh, yes I know Commerce City succulents, you're as cold as ice. Brighton terracotta is as cold as ice, I know (Boulder planters, you're as cold as ice). Oh, yes I know Westminster pot (you're as cold as ice, Golden estate sale). You're as cold as ice Castle Rock succulent. You're so cold as ice. Just imagine I put cold as ice before or after everything to follow. Superior yard sale, planter, cement, plant stand, philodendron, grow aloe, garage sale, monstera, vegetable box, Denver garden, Erie climbing, jargon, pottery barn, Parker tree, Thornton, green greenhouse, ceramic ceramics, holder, pots, red clay, porcelain, pottery, Littleton running, Northglenn trees, stoneware. Someday you'll pay the price, Denver. Cold as ice.

*** You can unplug your icemaker 'cuz I'm making ice ***