8/13/22 - I’m the Number One Potsman in the United States of Denver - Pottery + Plants for Sale

#1

Everyone wants to be it, some will tell you that they're all about it, but, alas, when it comes to pots, there can be only one.

I am the number one potsman, in the United States, of Denver, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.

Watch me sell pottery at low, low prices with the greatest of ease. I'm a daring young man flying at heights higher than the flying trapeze.

If you're looking for the highest prices, it's easier to shop at places more expensive than me. If you're looking for the lowest of low, low prices, I can't be beat.

Watch me beat my competition like it owes me money, because the concept that I have competition is both preposterous and funny.

-

Find me in North Denver, the land of milk and honey, off Highway 36 and the Pecos exit, on the weekends, Saturday and Sunday, 11 to 6.

Considering that I'm the #1 potsman the lower 48, we can coordinate for another time and date, if necessary. In any event, message me for my address:

<< 909 >> << 744 >> << 7708 >>

-or -

@ahouseofpots

On the subject of A House of Pots, that's my dba. It took me 31 years to realize, but selling pots has always been in my DNA.

You can take me at my word and believe every word I say, or I can show you how I'm better the rest every single day.

Harm Depot: will not include sales tax in your purchases

Blows: there are no multi item discounts

Y'all Mart: does not include free items with purchase

Your favorite garden center: threatened by my low, low prices

That cute plant shop: probably purchasing from me wholesale already as game recognizes game and those who know know that I'm the best game in town

Crapazon: charges you for shipping, no matter what they say

Ceramic artists: have bills to pay, and low, low prices won't pay their bills

Estate sales: charges you for their garbage

The rest of FB Marketplace / Craigslist: no return customer discounts

Ian / A House of Pots: the #1 potsman of all-time, a real Ricky Bobby of pottery, pisses excellence, and embodies the opposite of all of the above

Above all else, I’m all jacked up on Mountain Dew, and I’m coming at you with value like a spider monkey.

Do I sell plants? Yes. $5-45 for the most part, though there are some large or more valuable options you may want to shake and bake with. This covers cactus, house plants, succulents, monstera, ZZ plants, philodendron (even pink princess). Shake and bake.

What about glazed ceramics? Yes indeed. There are so many good ones, from $10 to $100 and up to 20 inches, that you won’t know what to do with your hands.

Terracotta too? Most certainly. Priced from $1 to $35, we have any expression here about clay pottery, and it’s “if you don't choose a Big Red clay, then f*** you” (Do I really need to explain these are movie quotes at this point?)

And if there’s anything that everyone wants, even a 8 pound 6 ounce newborn infant who don't even know a word yet, it’s free stuff. I’m definitely the Ricky Bobby of free stuff. Buckle up, things are gonna get crazy, we’re gonna make animal noises. There’s FREE garbage (why pay an estate sale when I’m just giving it away), Talladega Nights references, nursery pots, soil for your new plant, soil for the plant you’re uncomfortable potting, plant rescues, occasional cuttings, broken pottery, unsellable planters, terracotta shards, little succulents for the kiddos, and of course, absolutely ma’am, I’d love to sign your baby.

Well, what do you say? Should we get thrown out of an Applebee's, or just gobble up some pottery jargon:

Plant baby holder, ceramic, Thornton, philodendron, estate sale, cacti, Superior, Longmont, plants, running, stoneware, planters, monstera, yard sale, pot, Centennial, Lakewood, Brighton, Northglenn, vegetable box, mcm, gardener, Erie, Broomfield, fishing, garden, Arvada, pottery, gardens, Parker, ceramics, gardening, porcelain, succulents, hiking, Golden, plant, climbing, planter, green greenhouse, tree, jargon, pottery barn, Westminster, succulent, terracotta, Aurora, grow aloe, Louisville, plant stand, pots, garage sale, Boulder, cactus, Commerce City, red clay, Littleton, Castle Rock, Fort Collins, trees, Greeley, Denver, Wheat Ridge, cement, Loveland, Federal Heights

I just read in the newspaper that they put a pig heart in some guy in Russia, which means you can definitely find the time to visit the Numba 1 Stunna, I mean potsman, in the United States of Denver. You know what they say …

*** If you’re not 1st, you’re last ***