5/28/22 - Working Title for a Post Selling You Plants and Pottery

If you’ve ever seen or read any of my previous pottery posts, it begs the question, “how many different ways can this guy say ‘pots for sale’”?

How many different ways are there to say that all these pictured planters are available for sale in North Denver off Highway 36 and the Pecos exit from 1030 to 530 (or until 7 pm during warm Spring and Summer days)?

The answer, as we all know, is infinite.

There are infinite ways I can phrase silly sayings displaying the reasons why you should stop doing whatever it is that you’re doing right now and make plans to come buy some pottery.

But why would you go about doing that?

That’s the simple part.

Here, at the pottery establishment I call A House of Pots, we’ve got the best selection of high quality pots at the lowest prices you’ll find anywhere in Denver, or Colorado for that matter.

“But hold on”, you might say. “I got a great deal one time at TJ Maxx”.

First of all, fcuk TJ Maxx.

Secondly, we’re talking about the here and now.

Lastly, big box stores like Harm Depot, Trawl-Mart, and Blows are the only real competition I have on price, and they can’t concentrate as much good stuff all in one location like I can.

Would you like to see that location? Make time on the weekends and message me for the address:

<< 909 >> << 744 >> << 7708 >>

- OR -


Back to Harm Depot, and even its larger online competitor Amastadon, when you put us in the same room and pit us against each other, I’m the 500-lb pound gorilla.

Not only do I provide discounts on purchase of two or more items, I include the sales tax in the listed price, gift free items where merited, sell wholesale to licenced businesses, and even let you break some stuff if you feel so inclined.

Good luck trying to get Harm Depot to give you any special treatment, let alone negotiate to cover the sales tax for you.

In terms of prices, I’m inclined to paraphrase from the Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! “Prices” bit, but I’ll spare you so long as you promise to YouTube what it is that I’m talking about.

In a more straightforward sense, we sell:

<< Pottery >> $1-250

<< Most glazed ceramics >> $10-110

<< Outdoor pottery >> $20-110

<< Indoor pottery >> $1-75

<< Terracotta >> $1-35

<< Plastic / Resin >> $5-25

<< Plants >> $5-100

<< Houseplants >> $5-100

<< Succulents >> $5-100

<< Cacti >> $5-200

<< Alluaudia >> $45-$1000

It was mentioned somewhere that there’s free stuff. You might have overlooked the part about cash discounts or freebies with purchase, which is where most my “free” comes from, but here’s a new way for me to categorize my $0 FREE items:

<< Little clay pots for your kids >> $0

<< Styrofoam >> $0

<< Broken pottery >> $0

<< Pottery bits and shards >> $0

<< Terracotta breaks >> $0

<< Weathered cardboard >> $0

<< Nursery planters >> $0

<< Cuttings on occasion >> $0

<< Occasional rescue plants >> $0

<< Cactus kisses >> $0

<< A fun time with GramGram >> $0

If you’ve ever seen or read any of my previous pottery posts, it begs the question, “where’s the pottery jargon and how many different ways can this guy arrange his ‘p.jargon’”?

Hold my burr:

<< Look Ma, he just wrote this introduction within the confines of those arrow things he does and then copy and pasted that randomized list he pulls from succulents, green greenhouse, Aurora, Denver, Longmont, hiking, Parker, terracotta, mcm, Lakewood, jargon, pottery barn, Centennial, ceramic, Fort Collins, estate sale, plant stand, Federal Heights, plant, Loveland, red clay, grow aloe, Boulder, cactus, running, pottery, gardens, ceramics, Wheat Ridge, Arvada, trees, yard sale, pots, gardener, Brighton, cement, garden, planter, stoneware, cacti, philodendron, Castle Rock, fishing, Westminster, planters, pot, Superior, Northglenn, Littleton, vegetable box, Greeley, Louisville, monstera, Commerce City, Thornton, tree, gardening, climbing, Erie, Golden, porcelain, succulent, plants, garage sale, holder, Broomfield >>

*** The last time I tried to break some stuff at Blows they asked me, “excuse me sir, who do you think you are, Al Borlin”? God I miss that sexy toolbelt wearing mother fcuka ***

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