4/17/21 - Bring Your Abuelita, Because I Want to Meet Ya - Family Plant + Planter Sale

Where would we be without our grandmothers? Not here is the short answer.

If yours is near, or you know of one who's dear, my dear, bring them here. Because if we're all safe, and our loved ones are cleared to shop in a mixed indoor / outdoor setting, it's time somebody treated Abuelita.

Hi everyone, I'm Ian, and what have you done for that grandmotherly figure in your life lately? Another short answer is not enough; at least until you surprised her, or that little special Abuelito in your life, with some kind of plant & pot shopping spree on you and me.

We'll hook it up; you, the bread winner, and I, the don of pots, to don that Gram with more ceram in her hand than she's ever had.

Now, you're the (wo)man.

Ceramic pots range $2 to $85. There's discounts on 2 or more. Glazed costs more than terracotta. Plants are $7.50 to $45 mostly, with some big cacti in the $100s.

Abuelitas, if I meet ya, you better be ready for freebies. And if it’s too cold or snowy, there’s a warm plant shop for you to hang out in.

Grandma is coming to Sherrelwood in North Denver. Don't be some kind of sh!t grandson who doesn't bring her to the Pecos exit off Highway 36 having already asked for the address because that's how directions work.

You're in my world now Grandma, but if you need to phone first, try:

<< 909 >> << 744 >> << 7708 >>

If you didn't read it on the 'gram (@ahouseofpots), I'm only available Saturday and Sunday from 10 to 6. I'm so chronically late that you shouldn't bring Abuelita until 10:30. We’re open in any weather.

You might pull a hammy pulling these 100% free whatnots for Grammy:

Junk

Garbage

Trash

Rubbish

Bullsh!t

Jargon

Pottery Jargon (tm)

Life Stories

New Experiences

A Business Where You Can Bring Your Dog into a Cactus Buzzsaw

A New Business Experience

Education on Low, Low Prices

Nothing of Educational Value

Value Bundle Deals

Damaged Beyond Sale Pottery

Rescue Plants, Usually

Fables of Lore

Terracotta for Children

Beer for Bodyguards*

* That Means of Age Bros, or Female Enforcers also 21+, May Be Served One 12-16 Oz Serving of Beer Per Visit for Muscling through the Visit

Broken Terracotta Bits

Friendship

Just Like a Lot of Hookups for Abuelita

Sunlight

Hopefully No Snow but Probably

Pallets, Sometimes

-dom of Religion

The Truth

The Way

The Substance

Sherrelwood

Motorcycle Sounds

Tripping, but Falling Up

Shade

The Opportunity to Finally Not Be That Sh!t Grandchild

Ah sh!t, (grand)son, it’s that time we cook up some fresh pottery jargon for MeeMaw:

Oh my, your Oma loves decorative landscape décor, and you know just the place where she can land estate sized planters without nursery sized prices. That’s good because your Bubbe remembers when house plants cost a $1, when the family garden put fruit and food on the table, and when you were more known for climbing trees than being some sh!t grandchild. Gran-Gran is a grand gardener, but she needs more macetas for potting and gardening at her home. Good for her, you won’t even need to barter to get her a free with purchase planter so she can get her green on with whatever plants she so chooses: flowers, vegetables, cactus, euphorbia, yucca, pachypodium, pothos, philodendron, succulents, whatever. Odds are Oba-chan doesn’t want a xeriscape plant, but if she does, we have the perfect succulent for her bedside table. Yes, there’s probably a sale on tires or an iphone somewhere some other mile high sh!t grandson would buy instead, but, baby, Glammy needs some new glazed ceramy, and it should be a Gainey if you really love your GamGam. So don’t wait, put down your weights, and get racing to Sherrelwood. Cheryl would, and she’s not a sh!t grandchild. Here you can deck out your outdoor landscaping with local deals so cheap, you might end up with a surplus of pottery just like me, and Gran-Gran. So if you like backyard ceramics and Italian clay like me, I invite you to leave your couch, take a seat on mine, and let your Babushka go buckwild bargain shopping in my bargain container, garage / yard sale style, Mr. Maceta ceramic planter extravaganza. Wait, Big Momma says there’s still keywords on the checklist like 5280, house, desert, cacti, flower, ball, exterior, and outdoors to use, which gives me an outside chance of being a sh!t pottery jargoner if I don’t hit them all. Abuelitas, give me strength, give me enough sales to get my son a new laptop. No VoVo, don’t give me your tablet. Your not so sh!t grandchild gave you that last holiday and you can use it design your planting outside, plan where that same not sh!t grandchild can dig a hole for your tree, and make a schedule for them to water it. The value of your time with Gran will grow with every dollar you give me. Don’t trade that opportunity for the world.

Poetic Justice (Kendrick) / Locational PJ:

Hol' up, hol' up, hol' up, we gon' do it like this, okay? I'ma tell you where I'm from, okay? (California / Sherrelwood)

You gon' tell me where you from, okay? (Federal Heights)

Or where your Grandma stay (Westminster)

Where your mama stay (Thornton)

Or where your daddy stay, okay? (Commerce City)

F*ck with all this talkin'. As a matter of fact, get in the van, homie!

Get in the car and snatch that mother’s mother, homie, especially if she’s in: Northglenn (6 mi.), Arvada (6.5 mi.), Denver (8 mi.), Broomfield (9 mi.), Superior (13 mi.), Louisville (13 mi.), Lafayette (14 mi.), Golden (14 mi.), Lakewood (14 mi.), Aurora (14-25 mi.), Littleton (18 mi.), Boulder (20 mi.), Erie (21 mi.), Centennial (23 mi.), Longmont (26 mi.), Parker (32 mi.), Castle Rock (37 mi.), Loveland (45 mi.), Greeley (57 mi.), Fort Collins (58 mi.)

*** Do it for the gram ***